Precious Family Tradition
by OnlyFoolsReadMyStories
Summary: Danny shouldn't have left Montana. No pun intended. Now he gets the consequences of someone who isn't right for him. If you find it not funny, don't worry, I didn't either, and I'm the author.
1. Spoilt Appetites

**Terribly sorry, my email's suddenly started filtering FF alerts and I didn't dare write anything until I'd figured it out. i'm not gonna miss out on my lovely reviews! Anyway, to make up for the delay and also to rid off my writer's block, here is a short little humor oneshot. Although whether you find it funny or not is entirely your choice.**

**Summary: Danny should never have left Montana. (No pun intended.)**

**Disclaimer: Seriously, if I owned CSI: NY, I would not be sitting here like a geek writing stories abot them, I'd be too busy hanging out with Carmine, Ed, Hill, Anna and Gary. And also making chock loads of lolly.**

* * *

'Daaaaanny! Cooo - eee!' she yelled, surprisingly high-pitched, out of the window.

Something inside Danny cringed, but he ignored it. This was his new love life, and he was enjoying it. Well, most of it.

'Yes, I'm here, darling.' he said, trying to be enthusiastic. Lately he had been down for no particular reason.

_Well actually... _he thought. He shook it off before he could think of it, and climbed up the stairs to their apartment.

When he reached it, he took out his keys to open the door, but the door flew open, almost taking his nose with it.

'Danny!' She squealed. 'I've made your favourite dinner, and I've even brought some roses to put by the table and -'

'Ok, Precious, why don't we go in first?' he said, half bemused. It never ceased to surprise him that 'Precious' was her actual name.

And sure enough, there was a table with a pink tablecloth covering it, pink roses, pink napkins, pink candles and even the plates were laced with pink.

The 'something' inside him cringed again, and yet again he ignored it.

'Wow. This is great, Precious.'

'Oooooh, I'm sooo glad you like it!' She ran over and gave him a rather badly aimed kiss on what was either the cheek or the lips.

'Where's the food then?' he asked.

'Ooooooh, you see, because you have such a fab job, I'm supposing that you always have to work overtime and I thought to myself: 'Hey Precious, why don't you be clever and put it back in the oven just in case my sweet, sweet Danny doesn't come home in time, because, I mean, no-one likes a cold dinner, so I did that but just as I put it in the oven I looked out the window and YOU WERE THERE SO I DIDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT YOUR DINNER GETTING COOOOOLD, SO I - '

Her voice had risen to an over-excited screech and Danny's eyebrows were already in his hair.

'Okay, okay, you can tell me this over dinner, I'm starving.'

'Yees, let's eat, I'm sure you'll love this dish, you always love my cooking...' she burbled happily.

Danny sat down at the pink - adorned table as she put down the dish.

_Mmmm, that does look good. At least this girl can cook, unlike - _

'So, shall we eat?' she said sweetly, coating her words with maple syrup.

'Yeah!' he said, having awoken from his reverie, and picked up his knife and fork eagerly. His fork was inches away from the dish, ready to scoop out a large helping, when suddenly it disappeared from sight, and he nearly fell flat face onto the table, carried by his momentum.

'Waaaaaiiit! I almost forgot, I'm guessing you handsome looks made me forget,' she said seductively.

'What?' he said, half confused, half annoyed.

'It's in my family tradition. Once you fall in love, you must always spit into your cooking to show your devotion to each other!' she said excitedly.

Danny just watched in mild disgust as she gathered up the saliva in her mouth and spat it in. He'd instantly lost appetite.

She sat back down and took a portion of the dish for herself, as if nothing had just happened.

'Well, come on! The rest is yours!' she said, peering at him.

'And... you've done that for how long...?' he said.

'Ooooh, didn't you know? Ever since we met! I knew it was true love the moment I saw you face!'

She batted her eyelashes.

* * *

**I didn't find that funny either.**

**:(**


	2. Surprise

**Due to a request in a review this story has just officially become a non-oneshot. From now on it gets less humorous and slightly more... sad? Angsty? Anyway, you know I can only work with humor so sorry if this turns into a pile of shyt.**

**

* * *

**Lindsay walked up the stairs, clutching the small present in one hand. She had put a lot of care into the birthday present for Danny, carefully selecting the gift, pondering over the colour of the wrapping paper, wondering how she should tie the bow.

And yet in the very back of her mind, where all the bad memories and forgotten details lay, a little voice nagged at her, saying that it shouldn't matter; they weren't together anymore, he wouldn't care.

A part of Lindsay agreed and accepted this, but some other part, probably the heart, said that it was just a nice surprise. The way something looks can change your mind about it, and although people made up sayings to contradict this, it was a natural instinct to like something that looks pleasant, and to recoil from something that doesn't.

In short, she just wanted to make a good impression. But still the (seemingly pointless) fight went on in her head:

_But does a good impression really matter now? You're not gonna win his heart back._

With every step she grew slightly more depressed, and thought about just leaving it at his front door.

She walked up to the green door. Number 88.

_The Chinese lucky number. 8. _A useless fact popped up in her mind and she shook it away, not seeing how it would help.

She raised her hand, gently coiled into a fist, and hesitated. She was gathering up the courage for what was supposed to be just a simple meeting; make some small talk, give him the present, say goodbye and then go commit suicide. Well, no, that was exaggerating it a bit, but that was how the plan looked for Lindsay.

She pushed herself and knocked on it, the thumping sound echoing in her head in the quiet hallway.

The door creaked open and Lindsay forced her muscles into a relatively believable smile.

But it quickly dropped off her face when she saw the familiar face... that wasn't Danny.

The present dropped with a soft 'clunk' at her feet and both exclaimed at the same time:

'Lindsay?'

'_Precious?_'

* * *

**Yep, I am leaving it there. Let's see if you can guess what's gonna happen. I mean, it's not like it's obvious.**


	3. The Truth

**I'm so sorry. I know you've heard this excuse so many times but if you saw my homework diary, you would believe me so much. Seriously, I had so much homework I used up the weekend pages and I didn't have enough room to write down my friend's birthday to remind me!**

**:'(**

* * *

Lindsay hastily picked up the present and looked at her old school mate.

'Wow. I... I haven't seen you in a while... I don't know what to say.' Lindsay stammered.

'Oh... My... Gawd! Eeeeeeeek! Liiindsaay! Oh My Gawd! Wow! Come in!' she said. Her voice was so high, dogs would have winced and Lindsay's eardrums had surely ruptured.

'I can see you haven't changed one little bit...' she paused, realization coming into her mind.

'Precious?' she asked quietly.

'Oh my gawsh! Wow Lindz, we really need to catch up! Ok, how's you life? Mine's great, I've got this, like, top job as a make - up sampler person - whatever you call them - and I've got this greeeaaaat, like, bf! His name's Danny, isn't that such an adorable naaaame?? Danny Messer, and he's a cop! A cop! Like, James Bond, 'cause he's a cool cop, isn't he? Oooooh, no wait he's a spy, or whatever but ...'

She babbled on, not at all aware of Lindsay's sagging persona. The sparkle and hope went out of her eyes. Her suspicions had just been proven true. She bit her lip and interrupted Precious. Well, tried to anyway.

'He is sooo cute, he's like a puppy dog-'

'Precious?'

'Except he's all big and machoooo, like Superman-'

'_Precious?_'

'Like, wheee - Yeah?'

Lindsay pulled a grim face and handed the carefully wrapped present to her.

'Precious... could you give this to Danny when he comes back? It's kinda important.'

'Yeah, suuure! It's his birthday present, right? Ooooh, can't wait to open it with him, don't suppose you could tell me - hang on a minute... how do you know Danny?' she said dramtically, narrowing her eyes comically.

'Oh...' Lindsay hesitated. Should she tell her the truth? 'I just work with him, you know? Rather coincidental...'

She tried to steer away from the subject. Luckily, Precious had less of an attention span than a fish and switched the topic for Lindsay.

'Oh, how cool! That's totally awsome. Listen, could you, like, tell me what it -'

'No, I'm afraid not. And I'd appreciate it if... well, only Danny could open it.'

Precious looked at her, then beamed.

'Oh sure! Yeah, private stuff, I totally get that, do you wanna stay for dinner, I make -'

'Look, I have to go now. I'll see you sometime round.' Lindsay interrupted again firmly.

'Okaaaay! Right, how about we go shopping some time? Like, toodles! And by the way, I think you need some serious help with fash - '

Lindsay slammed the door and cut her off. As much as she liked her childhood friend, Precious was annoying. And after hearing this shocking news, she needed peace and quiet to think.


End file.
